Why can't PetSmart answer its phones?

I've called my local PetSmart the last three business days trying to make a grooming appointment for my dog.

I'm promptly greeted with a barrage of PetSmart taglines that employees have to rattle off before they're allowed to say, "How can I help you?"

I ask to be transferred to the grooming department - and that's where the trouble begins.

Over the last three business days, grooming doesn't answer their phone and I'm eventually bounced back to the first person I spoke with. They transfer me again and process repeats until I finally hang up out of frustration.

This has gone on for the last three days. I started keeping track of the time I've spent to date:

Avg. time spent on hold trying to make appointment:
9 minutes per call.

Avg. total time spent on hold trying to make appointment:
27 minutes.

One PetSmart employee I spoke with told me that grooming doesn't have a designated person to answer their phone and that they can't leave dogs on the grooming table to answer incoming calls to take appointments. Sounds efficient!

Today I called PetSmart's customer service number, (800) 738-1385 ext. 2518, explaining to them I just wanted to make an appointment for my dog and that no one will answer the phone during business hours.

The woman confirmed my suspicion - this is indeed a bad business practice!

She even did perpetrated an annoying customer service that all PetSmart employees seem obligated to do; asking all sorts of inane questions about the dog including his age, breed, etc. - none of which has anything to do with, in this case, answering a phone.

The genuinely concerned cust. serv. rep. took all my info and said she'd look into it. She failed to give her name (in case I needed to call her back) and I failed to ask for it, because she actually sounded like she gave a crap.

I should have known better.

Call me naive, but I figure if somone says they're gonna call back, they will call back. That was hours ago.

Well, the cust. serv. rep hasn't called.
Nor has anyone from PetSmart.
And my dog still needs a haircut.

Update #1, 4:00 p.m., 6/6/06: I just called again to see if corporate HQ had cracked down and gotten its employees to answer the phone. When I asked to make a grooming appointment, the person who answered the phone said, "our groomers are incredibly busy right now" and gave me the option to leave a message or call back.

I chose the latter option because I've committed PetSmart's phone number to memory and I figure an incredibly busy groomer probably has a lot of dogs to deal with.

So, while PetSmart seems to have addressed the problem of bouncing around customers in phone purgatory, making a grooming appointment remains an impossible task.

I even called a local pet groomer to take my business elsewhere, something I should have done in the first place, but they were booked up six to seven weeks in advance. Meanwhile, my dog still needs a haircut.

Update #2, 11:30 a.m., 6/7/2006: My local PetSmart called after corporate followed up on my complaint. They were awfully wishy-washy and reiterated the "we're so darn busy" line I got yesterday.

I told them that this morning, after four days of being unable to make an appointment at PetSmart, I made an appointment with another business (who answered their phone on the first ring.)

Not surprisingly, the PetSmart representative made no effort to keep my business and offered a half-hearted apology, adding, "well, hopefully this won't happen the next time."

Next time?!

Update #3, 12:10 p.m., 6/7/2006: Even e-mailing PetSmart is a challenge!

I tried e-mailing the customer service e-mail listed on their Web site (storehelp@petsmart.com) and I got an auto-generated response, indicating it's no longer valid and directing me to another e-mail form.

The end of Happy Harry's?

The Delaware mom and pop pharmacy, Happy Harry's, which was formed in 1962 and grown into a well-known franchise in the tri-state area including MD, PA and NJ, has been bought by Walgreen's.

For the time being, most Happy Harry's stores will retain the company name.

But it's only a matter of time before the corporate Walgreen's presence will take over, signaling the end of yet another local business, swallowed by corporate America.

Link: Happy Harry's, Walgreen Co. announce merger

Review: Don Caballero - "World Class Listening Problem"

It's been five long years since Don Caballero unleashed an album, but the wait is finally over. "World Class Listening Problem" finds the Pittsburgh-based group back doing what they do best: Amazing listeners and audiences with its uncanny ability to combine crazed yet melodic math rock that sounds like King Crimson at the height of their hipness.

Every new Don Cab is album is an adventure if only to hear what crazy things Damon Che has thought of behind the kit. Seeing him drum live is nothing short of amazing and is reminiscent of The Who's Keith Moon in that both of their styles seem contradictory; what it looks like they're playing doesn't necessarily correlate with what sounds come out of their kits.

"Palm Trees in the Fecking Bahamas" finds Che creating the aural illusion of two drummers simultaneously jamming while guitarists Eugene Doyle and Jeffrey Elsworth anchor down the song's jazz meets metal mania. Bassist Jason Jouver keeps up with Damon Che's spastic licks on "Sure We Had Knives Around," which is Don Cab at their best – creating challenging rhythms that raise the bar for innovative and creative instrumental rock.

Che is one of the premiere drummers of the underground music scene who has yet to get his due from the mainstream. And while Don Cab is always a fun and mesmerizing band to see perform live, on record they manage to capture the magic that happens when skilled musicians team to kick some serious ass.

Review: The Riverboat Gamblers - 'To the Confusfion of Our Enemies' CD

With their fourth CD, Denton, TX's The Riverboat Gamblers have proved it's possible to have mainstream appeal while keeping one's punk roots intact on "To the Confusion of Our Enemies." The album's standout track is "Don't Bury Me … I'm Not Dead Yet" which recalls the band's early years slugging out gigs in basements and crappy clubs set to music that sounds like the Foo Fighters at their peak; only more massive and powerful.

"The Biz Loves Sluts" is an explosive punk rock and roll anthem that combines the punk sensibilities of the Ramones and the smart swagger of Austin, Texas punk legends, Big Boys. "The Song We Used to Call 'Wasting Time'" and "Rent is Due" are high velocity thrashers that combine the hardcore angst with pleasing melodic punk-pop harmonies and are typical of the Gamblers' exhilarating live shows.

While critics have been raving about the Gamblers' enthusiastic live shows, due in large part to singer Mike Wiebe's all-over-the-place stage presence, the band could easily make the leap with a bigger presence on the alt-punk music scene this well above average CD.

Listen to The Riverboat Gamblers on MySpace.com

I was almost on MSNBC last night

I was booked to talk about American Idol on MSNBC's Scarborough Country last night. But then something went wrong ...

Click here to learn how I almost had my 15 minutes of fame on live TV

American Idol: Exhuming Elvis tedious task

Here's my recap of Tuesday's American Idol which featured the songs of Elvis Presley.

phillyBurbs.com: Exhuming Elvis tedious task

"The starry-eyed Idols were whisked away to Graceland on a private jet, where they were met by a disturbingly ghastly Priscilla Presley."

Still plagued by American Idol

I haven't had many opportunities to post here - been busy covering American Idol for work.

You wouldn't believe how draining it is to try and convince the millions of idiots who tune in each week that this is an awful show.

It's as if they just want to believe...

Link: American Idol phillyBurbs Style

Enter for a chance to win a 30GB Video iPod

The place where I work, phillyBurbs.com is giving away several iPods. The grand prize is a 30GB Video iPod!

Click here to enter for a chance to win a new iPod!

Riverboat Gamblers cancel Delaware gig

The Riverboat Gamblers have canceled their gig that was supposed to happen this Tuesday at Mojo Thirteen in Wilmington, Delaware.

I am bummed!!!

How will Kellie Pickler embarass herself tonight on American Idol?

Tuesday’s American Idol theme is love songs, with special guest Andrea Bocelli. Which raises the question, how will Kellie Pickler embarrass herself this week?

ihatekellie.com: How will Pickler play the fool?