After several failed reunion attempts, Van Halen has finally managed to get back together. Except, it isn't really Van Halen, it's Van Hagar.
For cryin' out loud, if you're gonna go through all the trouble to get Van Halen back together, bring back David Lee Roth! What the people want is the real Van Halen. The original line-up, doing the original hits.
Van Hagar blows. Van Halen is like banging a super model. Van Hagar is like banging some bar skank who thinks she's a super model.
OK, so David Lee Roth communicates in nonsensical cliches, is obnoxous to a fault and seems like he might be ... well ... a total pain in the ass to work with.
But David Lee Roth is also one of rock and roll's quintessential frontmen.
How hard would it be to keep Roth separate from the rest of the band, hire someone to keep tensions at a minimum and come stage time, the band can get just get out there and rock?!
Apparently it's really hard.
At the very least, Van Halen could do a tour with all three singers. Van Halen owes that to David, Sammy and Gary after burning and dismissing each of them.
Don't you think Gary Sharone would appreciate it if the band threw him a bone right about now? He could even warm up the crowd with a couple of songs or some plate-spinning. Then they could do a set with Sammy. And climax with a full-blown set with Diamond Dave!
Oh well, this latest reunion is just another rock and roll cliché: band reunites for no real purpose other than to sell a greatest hits record (I'm guessing their “Vol. 2 Best of” will be announced any day now) with two new songs tacked on that no one even cares about.
Fans will go out en masse, buy t-shirts, make band richer, while paying outlandish ticket prices and service charges, making multi-death corporations such as Clear Channel and Ticketmaster all the wealthier and more powerful.
Van Halen has disgraced itself enough times. The ill-fated "III" album, the DLR reunion appearance on MTV, followed by the fact that the reunion wasn't real at all, and the whole Van Hagar deal.
Even Ted Templeman hates Van Halen now!
If the band had reunited with David Lee Roth, I just might have been convinced to go. But at $97.00 a pop for tickets (that's before service charges), I expect something other than Van Hagar adding another shitty chapter to the book of once-great rock and roll that has become a total joke.
Now if we could just get Ronnie James Dio to front Black Sabbath again...
